Sun in the skies, but sadness in our hearts. And, no, it has nothing to do with Corey Haim. It is confirmed: Troy Waldron has packed up and left for Alberta (fingers crossed for a DecaSession return). Don’t worry; you can always cheer yourself up by watching a remix of the Trololo guy on YouTube. Or, better yet, read this write-up from another Vitamin D-filled edition of Burton United Socialist Hockey.

It was a small, speedy line-up in Burton this afternoon. Three pairs of friendly rivalries took to the rink. With warhorses Seamus and Justin continuing their eternal rivalry in net, it would be veterans Lee and Kyle in a race for the scoring title paired up with the earnestness of youth in Mitch and Terryn. There would be little rest time for a statistician to also take photos today as it would be wide-open all day with this line-up. In fact, the competition couldn’t even wait for the first game, as Justin and Seamus quickly began arguing over goaltending equipment (especially the good blocker), leading to gloves being dropped and a decent 20-second tousle eventually won by Seamus obtaining the blocker, who then stalked Justin across the court to the other net before everything was resolved.

Terryn and Kyle made an excellent tag team in the first series. Backed by a brilliant performance from Justin, they took the first game 5-3. The winning goal was particularly bad for Seamus, as Kyle had the puck all alone only to fan on the shot, which still trickled in from ten feet and beat Seamus five-hole. That goal deflated Seamus, who had had an otherwise good first game. Game 2 was nothing short of a whitewash: Kyle pointed out a second–straight game, and Terryn added four points of his own, as five of their eight shots made short work of Seamus. Justin savoured a four-save 5-1 win, and went .870 for the series (with five assists; in fact, three games in, Justin was still looking at three-star points from goal!).

Switching the teams up (Lee, Terryn, Seamus vs. Kyle, Mitch, Justin) at first did absolutely nothing to help Seamus’ plight; he let in three goals in four minutes to start Game 3. Lee, who had three points for the entire session at this point, began working well with Terryn, and together they clawed their way back to tie the game before Kyle and Mitch closed it out. Justin was still standing on his head, and Seamus used the last ten minutes of the game to get his form back. And did he ever, for it was Justin’s turn to flounder in net. Kyle and Mitch skated away to a quick 5-1 win in Game 4, bringing Justin back down to earth. Lee and Terryn got up early 2-0 in Game 5, but Team Justin came back quickly to win 5-2 thanks to some brutal, brutal turnovers from Lee and Terryn. To give an idea of the pace of this session, there was a 45-second stretch in Game 3 that featured five breakaways and twelve shots on goal. There had now been five games played in 95 minutes; the second series did not feature a single rest period in three games (in other words, about 45 minutes of non-stop hockey).

After a well-deserved five minute break, Lee and Mitch reunited, this time with Justin backing them against Kyle, Terryn and Seamus. It was an even battle, but Team Seamus took it 5-4. The crew then switched to the second series line-ups with goaltenders reversed. The most even battles of the day were had here; the action went back-and-forth all series. The deciding factor here was the faceoff prowess of Grenier, who sent Mitch off on numerous chances that he was able to quickly cash in. Their squad won 5-3, 5-4. One of the funnier moments seen in a long time in BUSH (well, second-funniest after the Seamus-Justin fight earlier) occurred in Game 8. Justin had been battling a loose jockstrap all session (twice it failed to protect him; the second time (on a Terryn slapshot), he got nailed quite hard). In a crease battle with Kyle, the jock actually dislodged itself and fell through Justin’s shorts onto the pavement. In all the action, Kyle skated over the jock and carried it with him like a piece of toilet paper all the way to centre ice before anyone realised what had happened! The only time in Burton Hockey history play has been stopped due to a jockstrap becoming entangled in someone’s skate wheels. All in all, it took just 2h 30min to play eight games. An exhausting session for the skaters (although Seamus could have goaltended all night, evidently) but fun as hell.

Kyle started out hot, pointing out the first three games. He was derailed a bit in the second series, but finished strong to wind up with big totals: 20G-12A-32P on 84 shots. Keeping pace quite decently all day was Terryn, who had his second-best career total with 16G-11A-27P on 62 shots. Lee had an awful first three games but came back hard to finish at 12G-13A-25P on 76 shots. Mitch was a killer on breakaways all day and finished with 14G-4A-18P-72 shots. In goal, both goalies had periods of mind-blowing awesomeness interrupted by quick, demoralising blasts of goals in bunches. When Seamus was announced after the session as having finished at .799, the expletive released afterward was probably audible in Edgewood. Justin finished close behind at .788 after having been at .868 through the first four games. Justin did edge Seamus in saves, 119-115. Seamus did tie one Burton record, shared by Nathan and Kyle: ten points from goal. Justin was close behind at nine.

Here are the game scores:
Kyle Terryn Justin def. Lee Mitch Seamus 5-3 5-1
Lee Terryn Seamus def. Justin Mitch Kyle 3-5 5-1 5-2
Kyle Terryn Seamus def. Lee Mitch Justin 5-4
Kyle Mitch Seamus def. Terryn Lee Justin 5-3 5-4

Faceoff stats:
Kyle Grenier 21/35 (60.00%)
Lee Orr 16/30 (53.33%)
Terryn Stenseth 10/23 (43.48%)
Mitchell Detta 8/22 (36.36%)

Season Stats: Kyle and Lee both break the 300-point barrier on the season today; Kyle leads 319-300. Seamus needs eleven for 200 in third. Justin ties Oliver for eighth at 96. Mitch enters the top 20. Kyle needs 16 goals for 200; Mitch jumps to eleventh. Lee has a 156-135 lead in assists on Kyle. Justin moves up to eighth with a 50-assist campaign. Kyle needs 83 shots on goal for 1,000 in the first two months of the season. Mitch and Terryn fly into the top 20 in shots. Lee falls from the top five in shooting percentage, giving way to Mitch. Seamus is just four saves behind Shem for second; Justin moves to seventh. Seamus needs two games to become the first player with 100 this year; Kyle needs five. Lee passes Nathan for third. Justin ties Bernie for sixth. Seamus passes Shem for third in games goaltended and is three behind Alex. Justin is one behind Alan for fifth at 21. Seamus passes Shem and ties Dom for the lead in goalie star points (60). Kyle goes back over 3.50 PPG. Mitch moves to third in GPG, pushing Troy from the top ten. Mitch debuts on the shots-per-game rank in third; Lee passes Seamus and Sam to move to fourth in shots-per-game. Kyle’s 32 points today tie for fourth-highest in a session this season, as do his 20 goals.

On the All-Time Front: So close to immortality. 25 points for Lee today puts him at 1,999 for his career (Seamus’ proposal: don’t have Lee play for one month, then bring him out at the DecaSession, have him get a point, and then perform a giant red carpet ceremony at centre ice). Lee has scored 1,003 points in the past calendar year. Seamus becomes the third player with 1,300 points. Catching Lorne sometime in May is a possibility. Kyle passes K.J. for eighth, moves over the 900-points mark, and sits 23 points behind Justin for seventh as they race to 1,000. Mitch passes Pat for 13th. Terryn moves ahead of Andrew Smart and Sam Lam. Kyle passes K.J. for sixth in goals. Mitch passes Pat for 12th and ten to tie Joern at 300. Terryn needs 15 goals for 100. Justin needs 25 assists for 500. Kyle ties Joern for eighth and needs five for 400. Terryn needs ten assists for 100. Seamus falls behind K.J. to fifth in all-tome save percentage. Seamus passes Lyle for eighth in saves and Dom for tenth in games goaltended. Justin needs four games in net for 200. Lee needs nine games for 700; Seamus is the fifth to play 600 (Lorne is in between at 613). Kyle becomes the sixth player with 500 three-star points. Justin passes Bron for second in goalie star points. Seamus is 15 total star points behind Lorne. Kyle ties Stefan for fifth in 15-pointers with 37; Mitch ties Troy and Ben for ninth with 19. Kyle has 23 in a row, Lee has eight, and Mitch has three. Kyle passes Seamus for fourth in 20-pointers with 23. Kyle and Lee each have four in a row. Kyle passes Lorne for second in 15-pointers at 14 (Lee has 18). Terryn has his second-career 25-point, 15-goal session. Kyle passes Lee for second in 30-pointers with five (Pat has eight). Kyle ties Stefan for third in ten-goal sessions with 30; Mitch records his tenth; Terryn his second. Lee has four in a row; Mitch has three. Kyle becomes just the second player in history with four 20-goal sessions (Pat has seven). Seamus (from goal, at that) passes Stefan for third in ten-assisters with 19. Kyle passes Lorne for fifth at 17. Kyle and Lee each have five in a row, tying Kyle’s record from last year. Seamus has two in a row. Seamus’ streak of .810 sessions ends at two. Justin ties Shem for fifth in 80-savers with 18; Seamus is one back. Seamus has eight in a row, the second-longest streak ever (of course, the record is 16, held by Chris Jackins). Justin passes laird for third in 90-savers with 17. Seamus has back-to-back 100-savers; Justin has back-to-back 110-savers. Justin passes Laird for fourth in 100-savers with eleven and for third in 110-savers with nine. Justin and Kyle have played in six consecutive sessions. We have already reached the point where single-season volume marks are beginning to be touched; Kyle’s 917 shots on goal this season is the fifth-highest single-season mark ever, as is his 180 three-star points.

SDF/GDF: Well, just one session in the past five weeks of non-stop hockey means Pat falls under the minimum divisor, meaning the top of the charts would be up for grabs for the first time since January (15 rankings ago). Kyle’s win today puts him on top for the third time ever, just ahead of Lee. Quite a chaotic ranking in general; Stefan jumps from sixth to third, Justin from ninth to sixth, Nathan from eleventh to eighth, and Ryan from twelfth to ninth. Pat drops to tenth, and Noel enters the top eleven for the first time. Kyle does not get the honour of being on top of both rankings at the same time, however; Shem has a bad one fall off and shoots into the lead by a fair margin. This should be temporary as Shem’s .914 falls off next session. Justin moves up to fifth.

BUSH will be right back on Friday. Until next time, check out the Records and Honours pages in the Links section.