Burton 40: Jordan Downey
If Ryan Disterheft is the nicest player in Burton Hockey, if Kyle Grenier is the best trash talker in Burton Hockey, if Shem Hanna is the most mercurial player in Burton Hockey, then Jordan Downey is the funniest player in Burton Hockey. Just ask him; he'll tell you himself! Who else can give himself a nickname and have everyone using it within an hour? It takes someone with a truly charismatic presence, and if charisma were food, Jordo could feed Somalia for a year.
When the artist formerly known as J-Spooge entered VRH in 2008, he was another in a growing list of VIHL Masterblader teammates to join in. He even brought along good pal and fellow paramedic Shaylin Trotman, setting a precedent; he would also be responsible for launching the careers of fellow Burton 40 members Pat Elischer and Rob Hajdu. It was 2009 when Jordan, rechristening himself 'Bones', truly took off as a VRH regular. His recruiting, and the recruits they brought in turn, helped 2009 become the greatest season ever. One of his biggest contributions to Burton Hockey was the introduction of intentionally blocking shots, a rarity in a semi-informal league such as this. Constantly sliding and/or dropping to his knees to block shots, he soon had other players doing it as well. What really makes this type of play special is the fact that Jordan is also easily the skinniest player ever in Burton and thus the one with the least meat to block anything. Jordan lists at 5'10" and 120 pounds, figures that are eerily similar to Michael Jackson's autopsy report.
Of anyone who plays, no one could care less about stats than Downey (in fact, he has the second-lowest all-time PPG in Burton history among regulars and holds the record for most games played without scoring star points). He's a stay-at-home defenceman who loves to play for his team and is simply out there to have fun, make some funny faces, do something incredibly daft to get a rise out of you, block some shots, and be the life of the session. Regardless, what he lacks in stats he more than makes up for with an infectious attitude and hard work. He's a slight man, but he's made a huge impact in the two years he's been in the league, and that's why Jordan Downey is in the Burton 40. One day, you'll get those three star points, Jordo!
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Ben de Wit